you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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