Your tits are I can't wait for
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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