I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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