oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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