Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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