Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize