The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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