At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
