found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize