im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
