1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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