You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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