youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
