when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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