Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
