Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
