im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
