yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
