New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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