You're my little dorito
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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