woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
