Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize