Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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