OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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