I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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