You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
