tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it's great music for shaving your balls
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize