it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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