Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
