I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We left an ass print on the piano.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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