Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
