Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
