yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
