I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
