Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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