yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
