Screwed.edu
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
