so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
