I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
