As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
