Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize