You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
