please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
