why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
