i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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