Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
