he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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