C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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