you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
