did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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