dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do vagina's smell?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
