You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize