I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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