Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize