I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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