I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
