Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Randomize
