i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
