You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My balls are so social today.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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