I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
