yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
