tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
