Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I believe in your delicious
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize