Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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