Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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