Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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