Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
