They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
