My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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