Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize